Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
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Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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