Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
