WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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