a queef is a wish your heart makes.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
