It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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