well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
