you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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