and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
