How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
