I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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