oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
