i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
