SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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