i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.