theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone