We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.