I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.