yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
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In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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