It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
