While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
