i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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