so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
