You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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