Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
