How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Green mimosas i think yes
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
