he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
