Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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