I will die if light touches me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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