My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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