So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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