So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
