lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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