In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
