I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
