Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize