So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Soap is not a condiment
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
