We're like a lot better than the average bears
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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