I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
