They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
