U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You are the jesus of drinking
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
