I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
