Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
