escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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