Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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