I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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