I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
