How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
