Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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