I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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