we're blogging at a bar
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The air taste purple.
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