we're blogging at a bar
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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