So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
