I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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