and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
