Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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