I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
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My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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