I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have aggressive nipples.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
