Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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