did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you win again, gameday.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
